Em: After [1979's Mad Max] this will actually seem quality.
Cristina: Liu Kang's hair is. SO. BEAUTIFUL.
Em: Seriously though, if you guys ever want to see me rage in public, play the Mortal Kombat theme.
Sarah: Why are his nipples way down there?
Em: HOW DO YOU NOTICE THE NIPPLES WITH THAT MAGNIFICENT MANE?
Cristina: Is it bad that I find Kano attractive?
Em: I mean, would I climb him like a tree? Yes.
Cristina: I wonder if he grew out his hair in rebellion.
Em: TAKE THAT, BUDDHISM.
Sarah: [paraphrased slightly] His beautiful hair is compensating for his tiny dick and bottom-nipples.
Sarah: Anyway, Zelda sex dungeon.
Cristina: So....evil Asian and good white guy? Hm.
Em: Oooh, Raiden's using his Batman voice.
Sarah: GET THAT MAN A RICOLA.
Cristina: You're kind of a bitch, Sonya.
Sarah: But she's a pragmatic bitch.
Cristina: How are they so underwhelmed by all of this?!
Em: I wanna see Cristina in one of these movies just to see her going "WHAT. WHAT."
Cristina: "WHAT THE HELL IS GOING ON. THIS IS JUST ONE BIG PILE OF NOPE. GIVE ME A TABLE SO I CAN CHUCK IT AT THIS THING."
Em: GOD DAMMIT, JOHNNY CAGE.
Cristina and Sarah: YOU ARE USELESS.
Sarah: They're so oiled!
Cristina: That's how I like my men.
Sarah: Oiled and hooded?
Em: SUBZERO. YEAH. GET HIM. POPSICLE, MOTHERFUCKER.
Goro: "You know nothing."
Sarah and Cristina: JON SNOW.
Sarah: All ninjas are warriors, but not all warriors are ninjas. It's like squares and reptiles.
Em: WHAT? WHAT JUST HAPPENED?
Sarah: He should get that looked at.
Em: He dead.
Em, pretty much whenever Scorpion came on screen: YAAAAAAAAASSSSSS.
Cristina: That's how I'm going to enter every room now: dramatic cartwheel.
Sarah: How long until Michael Bay does a remake of this?
Cristina: So, did the bad guys take the time to tease her hair while chaining her up?
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